So much goodness.
These past few days have been successful in my eyes.  Our SW is completing our homestudy write up and says we ought to have it in our hands by Monday.  As soon as we're palming that we can submit our petition to adopt an orphan to the US government.  That process usually takes 4-6 weeks but I recently learned how to expedite it with the help of a pediatrician's note.  Then today we attended a christmas party for the kiddos on base and while there I met two pediatricians!  Both of which are options for our family. 
It feels like we're finally getting the ball back in our court for a change.  Also this past week I had my first dream with our little lady in it.  She was here in our home but it still had that sense of surreality to it.  Like I couldn't believe she was here and real.  The dream consisted of our home life as usual until finally I realized she was she and she was ours and I was able to sit with her on my lap and put hershoes on.  It sounds lame but it meant so much to me.  The dream emotions were quite powerful and really reflect how untouchable your children feel while you're going through the adoption process. 
 Speaking of adoption, there have been a number of children who are older like our little lady who have recently found their way onto the "My Family Found Me" page of Reece's Rainbow.  That's the adoption ministry organization where we found our gal.  Some of these children have been listed there for years.  Two of these "lifers" are being adopted by the same family!  How wonderful and courageous these families are.  There is still one gal who we would love to see listed on the my family found me page.  She is our little lady's best friend.   They've lived in the same group since birth and both girls have the same disability.  I so wish we could bring them both home and keep them together but the country doesn't allow simultaneous adoption of unrelated children.  I'd rather her find a family asap than have to wait for us to come back around at some future date.

Here is her link:
http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=pollyanna&x=0&y=0

Please if you can advocate for her or if your heart is there consider making her your own.  She sure sounds angelic and hopefully the girls will be able to maintain their friendship post placement.

As far as our day to day goes, we're doing well.  The boys are loving school and settling into their classrooms the roles they play there.  For Thanksgiving we were able to take a trip south and visit friends in San Diego.  While there we got some updated family pictures for the court documents.  Here are a few of the many:

We're creeping into the holidays now with one thing on our minds.  Adoption.  This process is so unbelievably slow and difficult to withstand.  I want nothing more than to just hop a plane, see her face to face and say "we're coming".  I just wish she knew that our hearts and minds are on her and that she can relish these last few months as an orphan because the end is in sight.
Who relishes time spent as an orphan?  One thing I learned while working in Ecuador serving orphans was that up until a certain age, they really don't know their orphans.  Our little lady is past that stage of course and being the sharp cookie that she is, she knows she belongs in and deserves a family.
I've felt a bunch of doubt from people lately; doubt that I can handle all this,  even some doubt that she'll want us as a family.  I can't say I know full well how things will be when she gets here but I can say that we are committed as a family to being her family however that needs to happen, it will.  People have suggested that I will in some way neglect the needs of the littlest lady (due 2.9) while meeting the needs of the rest of the family.  I'm not sure what to think when I hear this.
a. who neglects an infant? or a baby?  or any child for that matter?
b. is the better option that our little lady remain an orphan?
These dubious thoughts and comments eat at me and they motivate me.  We'll do this, we'll do it well and when all is said and done these "nay sayers" will have to find some juicer gossip to stew about because we'll just be us, still here, doing what we do.
So to all you doubty mustafas here's a glimpse into what started us down this path.  The little lady's original profile.

Marissa 15H

All these kids are suffering by not being with Mom and Dad, but Marissa is literally heartbroken and is crying to be taken home.
Girl, born August 2006
1zpfn-15
Lower extremities paraparesis
What a beautiful girl, with such soulful eyes!
Volunteers found Marissa when she was three years old. She could barely move and didn't speak. With the help of our volunteers, Marissa was treated at an orthopedic clinic where she was cared for by a wonderful nanny. After just a couple of months, you wouldn't have recognized this child!  She started speaking (and not just speaking, but speaking in phrases!) The treatment also gave hope that Marissa will be able to walk. Marissa has learned a lot since we first met her. Most orphans are somewhat behind the children their age that are raised in families, and even more so if they have certain disabilities. Marissa would definitely blend in with kids that are raised at home; she is ahead of her peers at the orphanage. She has a wonderful memory, she loves seeing her new friends and telling them about her life.

What our volunteers said about Marissa, October 2010   "Our efforts brought amazing results. Marissa's legs are a lot stronger now, she can move them when she is sitting in a stroller and even lift them up above her head when she is lying down! Just to think that, not long ago, Marissa's legs wouldn't move at all, like the legs of a rag doll." "Marissa loves car rides. She is used to me driving her to the doctor and back to the orphanage. Recently, she has been asking me to take her "home". It breaks my heart. I am hoping that very soon it will be her MAMA, not a volunteer, who will come to hug and kiss her, and take her home." 
More Medical Information Available

Update, August 2011:  As you know, Marissa was a forgotten child until she was 3 years old and since that time the volunteers are dedicating themselves to spend time with her individually. Marissa has started to blossom: she feels her legs now, she can control bowel movements, and hold urine for longer periods than before. Now her mental development is corresponding her age group. The doctors believe that Marissa will walk with the help of braces or some kind of support. Even though she is still in a recovery period, she already has weak movements in her legs. She did not feel her legs before.
Her suspected hip dislocation was not operated on yet. The child needs an operation.
She has some speech and developmental delays, but is described as 'active and inquisitive.'



That's our gal.  Patiently waiting to be surrounded by parents and brothers and a tiny little sister who love her dearly.   One huge difference between care takers and parents: Parents never leave.  Orphanage staff go home each night and that is where their life, their family is.  Then in the morning they return to the building, their place of employment, and that is where you (the orphan) remain, waiting for a life beyond the walls a life where you too get to leave.
We're coming little lady.  We'll take you home.

Some days
Some days are worse, some days are better.  Some days I find peace knowing that she is in the best possible place (besides here) and some days all I can do is think about how far away she is and how much we're missing.  My hubby and I were talking about the connection we feel, whether it is real or just fabricated out of need and human emotion.  He asked me if I thought the Lord had a hand in placing her in our path or if he was just in support of our efforts.  I couldn't even respond.  Not that I was upset with him but that the emotion is so strong.  I have no doubts that she is ours and we are hers.  After all those years (dental school- when were broke) of looking through waiting child listings in every possibly country I never ever felt like I did when I first saw her picture.  It didn't matter much what the description said next to the picture.  It was her and that was all that mattered. 
So when it feels too far off or that she's too far away all it takes is one glimpse of that little face and I can trust that my efforts aren't in vain and that she too is waiting for us just like we're waiting for her. 
The volunteers working with her now were asking when we'd be there.  I love that they're aware of us and that we're coming but it stings to think that they too now are waiting.  It just can't happen soon enough. 
We love you little lady!
Part of our adoption effort is to cut all unnecessary spending.  That includes brand name cereals.  The other day my boys were having an afternoon snack of cereal and one asked "What kind of cereal is this?  Is this fruit loops?" (he was looking at the box trying to read it) and I said "Same cereal, different name, these are fruit spins".  He (the 4 year old) said "Ohhh!  Spins must be Spanish for loops". 
We got a few new pictures (new to us, not recent though) of the little lady today.  So motivating! 

Homestudy, check.
Tonight was our grand finale.  We had our in person training on Saturday and tonight we each had a personal interview with the social worker.  She basically went over our autobiographies and asked how prepared we felt, that kind of thing.  Nothing daunting, that's for sure.  So now, almost two months to the day after first inquiring about our little lady we can check homestudy off our list.  There are still some things left to do like send the draft to the international agency and have them decide whether it needs modifications or what not, but our part is finished. 
Now we can focus all our attention on the dossier which seems simpler since it is mostly in your hands and less waiting on others to act.  (Mind you I'll eat those words in no time) And God willing we'll have it all ready to submit before the first of the year.
I hear her region is closed for a few weeks in January but that could be okay since the babe is due first week in Feb.  We're making this process the ultimate BOGO ;)

Here's a treat for all who read.  Baby(ish) pictures of our baby.  She was three when these were taken. 

My six year old in his prayer tonight:
"Please bless our new sister and bless that she will be able to walk and talk our language when she gets here".
None of my babies knew how to walk when the Lord handed them over to me.  She's just like her brothers already.

The Home Visit
Well, we did it.  We opened the door to our judge and jury and I am happy to say it went fine.  Why was I so worried?  I think I had good reason.  Our SW still doesn't win any awards in my book but she did seem like she would fight more for our cause.  As in, hurry it up, lady.   We'll have our final interviews on the 14th and after that it is all in their hands.
   So what's it like?  I couldn't get a good description of what to expect so those of you who read this will know.  They come in, they sit down, they chat with you and ask you questions about the forms you filled out (Ours were done in September (*ahem) and go over the financial stuff.  Then they semi sorta interview your kiddos, just asking them what they know about the adoption and how they feel about it.  Then they have the kiddos show them the house.  They make it like they're looking for smoke detectors which they are but I'm sure they're taking other inventory as well.  Didn't open any cabinets or drawers, just a closet here and there.  She did check to be sure we had hot water.  Then she had the boys show her their room and the play area and all that good stuff.  We did show off the garage where she discovered our poor dog locked in his kennel.  He's a family member, I explained that but he can be overly friendly with guests and given his size (he weighs more than I do) it can be a bit overwhelming.  So the poor sap was kenneled in a corner of the garage and the lights weren't all on when she saw him back there looking like the forgotten child.  We got him out as soon as she left and he is currently under my bed snoring his head off like usual.
My house is so clean!  A girl could get used to this.
   So that was that, she asked us a few more questions about training and other parts required for the homestudy and then she was out of here.  The whole like probably took two hours which was rough since she got her late (6:45ish) and the boys were running on fumes by about 7:30.  We're still adjusting to the time change.
All in all for something I've feared for years it wasn't too bad.  No worse than any other guest you'd entertain in the home.  Glad it is done though and we are now one step closer!
Oh and as a glorious bonus, I open up my email after getting the boys settled and put to sleep and low and behold I have an update on the little lady from one of her volunteers!  I love hearing about her personality.  Not to sound cliche but she sounds just like me!  I really enjoy that she is older and will really understand what is going on in terms of being adopted.  No she can't foresee what it will be like and neither can we but we will all certainly welcome the change.
Love you little lady!  Your whole family misses you even though that seems impossible.  One. Day. Closer!!!!

Cross your fingers!
     Tomorrow is the big day - the home visit portion of the homestudy.  Yikes!  I can remember years and years ago thinking how stressful it would be to have a home visit and know this person is literally in your house to examine, snoop and make a judgment call.  Everyone says it will go more smoothly than you anticipate so I am banking on that.  I can openly admit that being tidy is not something that comes naturally to me.  I do appreciate a tidy house but if my options are pick up toys or play with toys, I'm going to pick the latter.  Especially while the kiddos are awake.  It is too bad you can't get toys all in the same color scheme because my house is pretty much decorated by them. 
     I'm sure things will go fine tomorrow, it is just all the anticipation.  My poor hubby, he got back into town yesterday after a three week training gig in Texas and I had a list ready and waiting for him.  I got so caught up, I even forced him to help me clean and organize the garage today.  We're not the type to do anything but enjoy the family on Sunday so this was a serious show of love.  Who knew a garage could be such a welcoming place!  No they don't check garages on homestudies but I might just offer it up as evidence against whatever the playroom may present at that hour.  We will be photographing the home for the sake of the dossier tomorrow too.  They want pictures of your home and family 8-12 I think is the number so that's pretty much one of each room.  I also took time this week to reorganize the boys' clothes and get everyone set up for whatever growing may occur in the next six months.  We already have a large bin of size 4-5 girl clothes for the little lady and the poor baby lady has only enough to cover the bottom of her bin.  Ah well, babies only really need diapers, onesies and swaddling blankets, throw in a pair socks or two.  We can handle that, she can wear boy socks ;). 
    Saturday is our big training day and then our homestudy will be done!  Minus the write up and any corrections that need to be made.  Pray pray pray that process goes quickly.  If there is one thing this local agency hasn't been it is helpful so God willing they'll be anxious to just get us on our way and off their to do list. 
   Happy Monday everybody!